Yesterday, went out with XIANGLING!
totally awesome! had lots of fun!
shall sum it up!
- bus to bugis.
- doze off on the bus.
- reached bugis.
- went iLuma find yanqi.
- misbehaving at the shop and the guy seemed annoyed by us.
- went window shopping.
- somebody flimed us.( WE LOVVE SINGAPORE! ROARR ...)
- empty and deserted.
- went to bugis street.
- went in sex shop. (hahahaahahs)
- went to bugis junction mcdonald.
- free milkshake and fries (monopoly instant win!)
- went back iLuma.
- raced to the escalator.
- Went to the Arcarde play the Drum and then the Mario game!
- I keep winning! hahhaahhahahs!
- Bus home.
Now,the Photos for the day!
hahahahs. that's all!
Monday maybe having steamboat with girls :D
On the surface, we seemed prefectly normal. Yet, we both know we are drifting away from one another. It doesn't have to be said out, its understood. Our lives are different. Let's just carry on separately. I have made the move to clarify but if silence is your answer then so be it. I will keep moving on, moving up towards what i want. It all begins tonight.
After talking to shaotao on the phone, he really gives me plenty of useful advice. I have made my choice and its not a hasty decision. I decided to quit my job and spend my time studying. Improve on my weaker subjects. Its not like i'm short of cash. Also my motive in working is to be able to buy more clothes buy makeup buy some useless stuff.
I quit.
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I have no idea what is wrong with me. Out of sudden, just that period of time that 15mins i made so much mistakes. That 15mins totally spoilt my mood for the next 3hrs and 45mins. When i reached home, the first thing i do was to cook some instant noodles for my stomach and swtiched on the vaio. It has always been like this and naturally i'm used to it. I'm always out of touch with the girls. Either i'm always the last to know what is going on or i knew nothing at all totally. Yepp, i know its because in the first place i don't have or bother to squeeze out some time to spend with them. But why i don't ? I'm not sure if its really wierd for me to say this but seriously the reason why i don't or often reject the request of hanging out with them was because i never like the feeling of sitting down or standing at some public place wasting our time away doing nothing at all. Am i strange? I meant a typical teenager loves to slack but me. No , i don't . Strangely as it seem but it is also through all this slacking of time will friendship be forged more strongly. That's why i'm lagging behind.
Come to think of it. What in the world have i been doing for the past few months? My studies is not getting any better even though i stayed at home for almost like 24hrs a day. The bonding with the girls stays so mono and with boyfriend seems to be worsen. I have nothing. Nothing to let me smile when i'm feeling down because friends are not like friends, boyfriend are not like boyfriend. All this turn out to be in this manner, its because of me. I'm the mastermind and i don't know what i do for everything to turn out in this way. Now , i'm still stuck even if i have the mindset to make a difference. Stuck with what? Stuck with working.. '
Will anybody believe me if i said : " I'm losing everyone and now i'm losing myself too. I have completely become someone without character. Day and Night carrying my fear where ever i went. Afraid of this Afraid of that but of course i don't show but only i myself knew. Its like this minute i know what i want but the next minute i'm lost again. All those night shift working make me mentally and physically worn-out. When i'm clearing the rubbish bin, while those young adults are sitting down there studying attentively. I felt inferior. Even though , i work is because i just wanted to earn more pocket money and not to rot at home yet somehow i felt i'm "dirty". I asked myself again and again is this what i wanted? I walked back in to McCafe and often i will make mistakes. Then, i asked myself again "am i cut out to be in this job? In this kind of enviroment? Or am i made for just signing documents and earning millions of dollars just for my signature signed on a plain looking file ? When i am picking littters on the floor , washing the dishes, Makking Ice blended drink,Serving the customers with a wide smile, i always wondered in their mind do they have a mindset of being more pure and clean ? Do they look down on me? Slogging hard away earning a pathetic amount of money for an hour.
Here, as a singaporean i have felt in this manner and what about all those foreigner workers holding a work permit? From china ,Indonesia ,philippines , malaysia ? How do they feel? I guess it will be 100times more terrible. They have to share room with 3 or 4 people. In a room as they rent it. They have no privacy. They came here to work hoping they will get to earn enough and live better. Yet, we looked down on them. Despise them. Make fun of them. We are all humans right? We all have parents right? We all need respect right? So why do singaporeans not just singaporeans anyone anybody who feel they are more superior in a way have to treat those just wants to earn a living in such a manner? They have pride too. Anger too. They may be blacks but just because they are blacks we are all given the rights to make fun? Laugh at them ? No. This should not be.
Whenever i met some customers with very annoying attidude towards me. I felt a slapped on my face. In what ways am i more lowly than he or she ? I feel like giving up. Give up working. ...
If mummy can endure for 22 years why can't i? I will carry on.
I have not found what i truly wanted. I'm still half the average,typical teen.
Another week has passed. I'm not sure if i should feel anxious or depressing.
ME want perm perm perm hair hair hair !! next week !! next week!!
- : Perm hair
- : dye + highlight
- : Treatment
poof !
I'm taking 4dextox capsules per day!
* completely stop my silly fantasy.
I think i have found my desire career. I'm going to go for poly and then Uni . As the course that i wanted is recognised by the University (some courses in poly, University do not have). Hmms. Either SP or NP as it seems only these two poly have these course.
Y2010 - preparation of O level
Y2011 - O level examination
Y2012 - Admission into Polytechnic/ Modules
Y2013 - Modules
Y2014 - Modules + Internship (last year) / get exemption from Oversea University
Y2015 - Start working / further degree in University
Its years' man.
Camilla is being serious with studies now.
My heart shattered into millons of pieces. I was walking back to McCafe when suddenly i heard a voice keep calling someone " Auntie , Auntie Auntie!" In fact the voice was getting louder and so i turned to see what was going on. Guess what? I saw that voice was actually projected out by a cute little boy hurrying towards and said this " Auntie, Auntie where is the TOILET ?" I was like STONED! Goodness gracious! All the beanies were laughing at me. Should call me " jie jie! " must be the stupid bun i had on my hair. It's a must to tie a bun. Luckily, he never called me " Ah mah! Ah mah! Excuse me, Ah mah where is the toilet?" LOL
I had to keep an eye on my feelings. I should not entertain such thoughts.
I bought detox capsules . I just swallowed two. I hope i do really see some improvement two weeks later. It cost me $145 bucks.
Suddenly, i'm extremely eager to get everything in placed. hehehs. shall write down everything on a piece of notebook.
I hope i am thinking much.
He compliment on my shoe. He notice my hair was different today. He laughed at me when i am fussing. As i walked past him his gaze followed. He tickle me.
I am thinking much. He is treating me as a sister, nothing more nothing less.
KNOCK MY HEAD!!!! what the ... what in the world am i thinking ... geez .. YEAH!! tomorrow is my off day! hehehs :D I'm glad that i'm able to rest. Sigh ..am going to get my mcCafe uniform alter .. i'm really like wearing oversize uniform and aint good. Gonna make the pants tight fitted like skinny and the top more fitting . hahahs i got figure one ok? LOL . nobody said anything about figure anyway. hahahs.
Need to do some shopping for health products and some miscellaneous stuff. hmm..
miss you tonight.you are still e one i love but no more no contacting of me, i will get tired and eventually let go. uknow my style. loveu.